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Author Topic: Good Ones  (Read 9183 times)
espherepc
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« on: September 14, 2007, 02:20:00 AM »

(1) Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours  Wink.


(2) A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman with.

The man said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The man agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. So I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is, 1/3 ownership in the store, a company car, and $3000 a month living expenses.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2007, 02:21:37 AM by espherepc » Logged

espherepc
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« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2007, 12:26:54 AM »

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote Sad
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote Smiley


Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen Smiley
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? Sad


Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Apke Hain Smiley
Shaadi he baad - Apke Hai Koun? Sad *******
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espherepc
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« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2007, 12:28:56 AM »

Once upon a time leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time quality was craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time mouse was an untouchable mammal, now it is handheld pest.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.
 
*********
 
 
Once upon a time teacher tought and students learnt, now teacher trade and students consume.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time competition brought out the best, now it brings out the worst in people.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time there was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time truth telling was good for your soul, now it is bad for promotion.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time success meant living by ideals, now it is about using above all principles.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now it is booming business.
 
*********
 
Once upon a time the government was clean and sex was dirty, now one doesn't know.
 
*********
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espherepc
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« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2007, 12:29:56 AM »

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he
wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone
had taped a note to the sign that said:

" Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
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espherepc
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« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2007, 12:32:24 AM »

"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to
you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins
(1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,

"Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming
out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,

"Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER

Moral : When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a
fool of yourself.... .
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